I’m not sure if my story is unusual when it comes to discovering as a Female Lesbian or Femme. I believe this who I am and this is the road that I want and love.
In my 39 years of existence, I had a turning point I knew this is my sexual preference in life. When I was young I dream to have a family with someone I love and settle down and get old with him.
Suddenly, I was on my mid 20s when I discovered my sexual preference. At first, I don’t want to accept it myself because I have a family whose conservative and religious oriented. Further, I’m afraid of people’s judgment around me. In addition, I’m scared and confused about it.
How did it started? I had been a workaholic and career oriented until my father died. So, one day, I woke up being alone with an empty room because my old sister had leave to work abroad for our family’s financial status. A person arrived unexpectedly.
We met through social media via Facebook. I know I was very innocent and no knowledge at all on relationship back then. So long I have my family, friends and decent job. That’s life for me. My life did rotate 360 degrees. This person open me to a world that I had not explore at all.
When I was with this person I was happy, felt loved and accepted. On the contrary, I never get to know this person that much. Carpe Diem for us as I said to myself. The feeling does not take too long because a long the way, this person little by little revealing her true identity. Further, she has suddenly change for apparent reason.
I made a lot of mistakes maybe I did trust too much and thought she would never leave me. I was wrong because she left me and my family’s trust got broken too. Further, I don’t even know myself, all I know it’s much for me.
As I saw myself while everything is falling apart. I decided to resign to my long term job too. And family’s trust to me is broken as well.
I found a new job, working myself to earn my family’s trust and respect again. New beginning with new discoveries and new work.
For my job as a call center agent during this time, I met new friends, new people and new love?😃 Furthermore, I get travel alone and with my new found friends. Along with it, my family’s trust and respect to me has been regained.
While getting busy, I found myself discovering valuable learnings and a lot more about LGBTQ community. Into my surprise, I got crushes at work with same sex. I tried to fight but I can’t. Knowing those things for myself, me and my Jen crossroad through a mutual friend. We became close friends at first. Once again, I fall for Jen(lesbian) for her.
During our first few months, as girlfriends it was tough because I was not coming out. So I decided to talk to my older sister to tell about our relationship and I am who I am as a Female Lesbian. Our talk didn’t gone well. Though when I feel my Jen’s love, acceptance, determination, trust, and support for us to push through with our relationship. We patiently wait for the time for my siblings to accept for who I am.
Come out when you’re ready. -Awra Briguela